Took off a few hours early from work on Friday to come back to visit my family for the weekend. Since moving to NYC this past August, I haven't made as many trips home as I would have thought. This trip, however, made me think of home in a different way.
Its kind of a strange feeling, I am realizing, as you get older and go away to school and out into the world to come back 'home'. Although this big white house is the place where I fell off the stool and needed stitches in my chin and its the same house where I've always had Christmas dinner--it feels different, as an adult. I'm sure this happens to almost everyone but it's just becoming a reality for me now. Is my 'home' still my 'home'?
I find myself feeling a little bit like a guest here. I don't have the same power as my sister, who lives at home. She has her messy (so messy, I mean--I would share pictures but it would scare most of you) room and cabinets full of her favorite cereal. She has her friends plastered in pictures all over her wall.
What is that all about by the way? High schoolers love having a million pictures of their friends. She has huge frames that say things like 'FRIENDS FOREVER!' and 'LLADDDIIESSS'. I don't understand.
But me? When I come home--I mean sure my mom will make my favorite dinner or my dad will let me use his car but nothing here is really mine anymore.
I guess the hardest thing to swallow sometimes is how much I have changed. I am different than I was in all those pictures framed of me in the hallway, so how could I expect everything here to stay the same?
People move and grow, rooms get painted a new color or turned into a spare bedroom. Maybe what my idea of 'home' was as a little girl has changed but here, with my family, will always be home no matter how old I am.
I think this idea of home and family is also in my head quite a bit more today, not only because I happen to be laying on my couch with my dog, but also because last night I watched 'A Family Is A Family' on HBO. This short documentary put together by Rosie O'Donnell about what family means is adorable, thought provoking and truly touching. These kids melted my heart. If you can, I'd recommend seeing the film in its entirety but this clip gives you a good feel of what its all about.